Life of a dreamer

A friend of mine sent me a slam book entry I had written in her book which read, “Life goal: To become a computer engineer”. I had written down this goal probably when I was in the 5th grade. Back then, computers were the new thing and I was fascinated by them. The only related job I knew back then was becoming a computer engineer. My friend also pointed out, how that dream of mine eventually did come true!

Pondering over it made me realize I did manage to achieve my dream without even acknowledging it. I have been a huge nerd my whole life. Though there was a moment in my life, where I stopped running behind grades (the nerd in me still exists!). Today, it reminds me about the amount of efforts I used to put in, the sleepless nights, the influx on information, the drive to study as much as I can to get my degree. I slogged really hard and seeing your hard work being reflected on report cards gave me a great feeling back then.

It also made me realize that with the same attitude, if I really put in all my honest work into achieving my other dreams, I can achieve them as well. Because I am that hard working kid. I had the headstrong determination and drive to become a computer engineer. Now, that same kid has different goals, but the sheer thrill of going after my goals still excites me. Life doesn’t need to be limited by a single dream. This was a beautiful reminder that when you start manifesting your dreams and do all the groundwork, even though it may take some time or even longer, but one day, you will get there. Keep going!

Old habits die hard

They say, old habits die hard
When I look at you every time you walk into the room, I understand why
They also say, it takes 21 days to create a new habit
I don’t know which is worse, the 21 days of not looking at you
Or the 21 days of replacing you with a new habit
Because time for me has come to a standstill since the day I saw you
Maybe you weren’t just a habit
But a reminder of the love I have carried for you since then
So I take this love and let it walk away with you
Coz it’s always been yours to keep
Realizing that you don’t have to give up on some habits,
But gradually learn to just let them go
I simply walk out of the room, into the bright new world
Like a man with a heart full of dreams
Knowing there are things and places meant for me
Now, all I need is to form a habit that takes me one step closer towards my dreams

Ashwini

P.S: I took this picture while riding on a two-wheeler with my friend in Gainesville, Florida. Loved how the Spanish moss growing on these trees gives them a dramatic effect.

Do your thing.

“Just do your thing, girl!”, that’s what my best friend said to me today. And it got me thinking, how important it is to hear these words even when you think you are on the right path. This wasn’t some deep advise, but just some encouraging words to get you going. At times, our own judgement gets clouded because we get lost in the ongoing chaos around us. When we watch multiple things, listen to contradicting podcasts, talk to people with different views, we begin to wonder about our own life choices. Sometimes, we judge ourselves so much that we begin to doubt our entire purpose in life even when we have found it.

To me, a healthy debate is important. I like to listen to what other people have to say, it gives you a different perspective to life. But, we also need to be careful about how we are reacting to all this information that we consume. The most important part you need to realize is, these are the other person’s views. They choose to believe in these things because at some point they too, had a revelation. Maybe through another person or any other channel. Whereas you have to decide what knowledge to keep and what to discard. It’s okay, if you want different things from the world and realize that you think differently. These differences are what make you, YOU.

Honestly, I tell myself that I believe in me more than anyone else. Because I know I am willing to work hard for the things I really want. It took me a lot of years to finally accept the person that I am, with all the good and bad combined. And let me tell you, that has been the best part! Because now I know what I am, who I am and what am I built of. This has helped me to be myself, trust my own instincts and go after the things I really want.

So, keep the good parts from what you see and hear and altogether discard what is not helping you. If you believe in something with all your heart, why not give it a chance to come true. The world will be judging you no matter what, the good and the bad. So, why not give them something good to talk about. Choose yourself, just be you and do your own thing. And I bet the chaos of this world will vanish into thin air when you do so!

PS: I chose this picture because the sun always reminds me that it will rise and shine, no matter what!

Let’s go live on a tiny island..

Let’s go live on a tiny island filled with people like you and me
A place where the winds sway as they may, and the people breathe free

Where on days when it rains, we go dance with our favorite songs playing in our heads instead of trying to find a shelter
And when the sun comes out, we sit under a tree and bury our faces in books, sipping a seltzer
And on the coldest of days, when there’s nowhere to go, we’ll ignite the dried logs of our memories
Let them provide all the warmth we’ll ever need to get through a cold breeze

If you wonder what will happen to the people you would want to see
The ones that care would even walk on thin ice just for one more meet
The houses won’t be fancy, but for all their guests, they’ll always offer a seat
Where they all grab a bite together and drink some lemonade to escape the midsummer heat

It’ll be a home for lost souls who are wandering around looking for something
And it’ll be a solace for us, a paradise for our dreams to cling
For this island would welcome all those who dare to dream
And for the ones who don’t, a distant utopia it would seem

It might not be a place where there will be millions of things for you to do
But it will all be enough to last you a lifetime or maybe even two!


Ashwini

What would you settle for?

I was watching The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix and I came across this dialogue where the protagonist’s mother says to her daughter -“It takes a strong woman to stay by herself in a world where people will settle for anything, just to say they have something”. I feel it holds true for men and women both. We tend to settle not just in terms of people, but things, places, goals and dreams as well. In most cases, it happens so because you go for the easy choice or what society deems ideal for you. We are just so keen on having something to call ours that we forget to question ourselves – Do I even want it? Can I do better? Do I want to do better?

This also has a lot to do with circumstances that force us into settling. But it also takes a lot of courage to fight for what you want despite the circumstances. In the end, it’s really about choosing the battles you’re willing to fight for and dropping your weapons and armor to the ground for some. Don’t ever believe anyone who tells you that you don’t deserve something. No one. Not even yourself! Just because you’ve set your standards high doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a shot at what’s best for you.

To not settle for less also means being able to realize and recognize your own value. To not be afraid of your own shadow. In life, there won’t always be another person making you realize your worth. But it will be the person you see when you stand in front of the mirror everyday. You need to decide what is best for you. And you don’t have to lowball yourself just to be with someone or for the sense of some kind of accomplishment. Think about how many times before you choose other people are you willing to choose yourself. Remember, the pursuit of happiness always begins with you.

Being okay.

Throughout life, we often tend to train our mind into being okay. It is a good thing you know, but only when there are no options left. But when you do have options and you still choose to give up on things you’ve strived for and loved for so long, would you really be okay? Did you really work your ass off all this while to give up when it counts the most? To leave the person, who till date meant the world to you? To give up on your lifelong dreams just because the timing isn’t right? Do you really wanna be that person who’ll just be okay with what comes next?

And yes, you can be okay with a lot of things and still live a happy life. But that moment when you’ll be breathing your last, your brain will be scanning through your memories before it goes blank and it’ll stop at the things you gave up on which meant everything to you. And most probably you’ll carry that guilt even after the end. Wishing then that what could’ve been only if you wouldn’t have given up when you had the time. You will find the strength to live, we all do, but do you have the courage to go after what you want?

We’ve got this one and only life. And if you don’t go all out for what you want, there’s a chance you’ll be stuck in the rut of a mediocre life that you chose to settle for. It won’t be so bad after all you know. But that’s what, that’s how it’ll be, not bad, okayish, liveable. Instead, why not make it an incredible, large, living-the-dream kinda life? ✨

How far would you go?

How far would you go?
For those dreams that keep you awake at night
And the ones that enlighten your soul during the day

Tell me, what would you do?
When you see your dreams lying right ahead of you, waiting for you to claim them
Would you simply walk or run towards them with all you’ve got?
Or would you turn your back and walk away in the abyss?

You spent all these years weaving the tapestry of your dreams that has comforted you when no one else did
You carried them in your heart, which glowed with pride all this while
Would you just cast them away as dead weight
Or would you travel through space and time just to make them come true?

You could walk away at the first sight of failure and join the herd as they say,
But your real strength lies in how far you’re willing to go because your dreams are what separate you from rest of the world

So, tell me now, how far would you really go?✨

PS: Hope everyone’s having a great start to the year. Even if you’re not, stay put and believe that better things are coming your way soon! It all does work out, sooner or later, but it does. ❤

This picture was taken while flying off from snowy New York to sunny Florida in Dec, 2020!