Life of a dreamer

A friend of mine sent me a slam book entry I had written in her book which read, “Life goal: To become a computer engineer”. I had written down this goal probably when I was in the 5th grade. Back then, computers were the new thing and I was fascinated by them. The only related job I knew back then was becoming a computer engineer. My friend also pointed out, how that dream of mine eventually did come true!

Pondering over it made me realize I did manage to achieve my dream without even acknowledging it. I have been a huge nerd my whole life. Though there was a moment in my life, where I stopped running behind grades (the nerd in me still exists!). Today, it reminds me about the amount of efforts I used to put in, the sleepless nights, the influx on information, the drive to study as much as I can to get my degree. I slogged really hard and seeing your hard work being reflected on report cards gave me a great feeling back then.

It also made me realize that with the same attitude, if I really put in all my honest work into achieving my other dreams, I can achieve them as well. Because I am that hard working kid. I had the headstrong determination and drive to become a computer engineer. Now, that same kid has different goals, but the sheer thrill of going after my goals still excites me. Life doesn’t need to be limited by a single dream. This was a beautiful reminder that when you start manifesting your dreams and do all the groundwork, even though it may take some time or even longer, but one day, you will get there. Keep going!

Choose yourself. Over and over.

We often talk about how we love a fictional character from a movie or a show. Have you ever wondered how easy it is to love every other thing in this world and yet, so difficult to love ourselves. We try to find meaning in the outside world, to search the light that will guide our way and give us a reason to live, something that will make us happy and feel good about ourselves. But, how often do we sit with ourselves and try to make sense of what we are.

You try to find the “good” side of all characters in movies, friendships and even relationships. And yet, you’re so cruel to yourself. To think that you’re unworthy of any good thing in this world. That you will never be as cool as the other person is. And yes, you can try to be that person, but you can’t escape who you are and what lies within you.

It takes a lot of strength to face your own demons – your insecurities, your weaknesses, your pain, your failures. And trust me, it takes an insane amount of courage to acknowledge all these things that make you vulnerable. If you can be kind to strangers and even stray animals, why not show some kindness to yourself? The first step to self love starts with accepting yourself. The good, the bad, all of it. These are the things that make you, YOU.

Accepting yourself empowers you to grow past your weaknesses. You need to tell yourself insane amount of times that “I am not just a product of my insecurities. Rather, these are just things that make me human”. What really matters is how you choose to get past it and focus on things that do bring the best out of you.

Honestly, the world is always going to have something to say about you – sometimes good, sometimes bad. Don’t let them define you or just blindly adhere to the world’s perception of you. You have the choice to live a life built on your own beliefs and choices. Just work on yourself. Believe in yourself. Choose yourself. Over and over. ✨

Do your thing.

“Just do your thing, girl!”, that’s what my best friend said to me today. And it got me thinking, how important it is to hear these words even when you think you are on the right path. This wasn’t some deep advise, but just some encouraging words to get you going. At times, our own judgement gets clouded because we get lost in the ongoing chaos around us. When we watch multiple things, listen to contradicting podcasts, talk to people with different views, we begin to wonder about our own life choices. Sometimes, we judge ourselves so much that we begin to doubt our entire purpose in life even when we have found it.

To me, a healthy debate is important. I like to listen to what other people have to say, it gives you a different perspective to life. But, we also need to be careful about how we are reacting to all this information that we consume. The most important part you need to realize is, these are the other person’s views. They choose to believe in these things because at some point they too, had a revelation. Maybe through another person or any other channel. Whereas you have to decide what knowledge to keep and what to discard. It’s okay, if you want different things from the world and realize that you think differently. These differences are what make you, YOU.

Honestly, I tell myself that I believe in me more than anyone else. Because I know I am willing to work hard for the things I really want. It took me a lot of years to finally accept the person that I am, with all the good and bad combined. And let me tell you, that has been the best part! Because now I know what I am, who I am and what am I built of. This has helped me to be myself, trust my own instincts and go after the things I really want.

So, keep the good parts from what you see and hear and altogether discard what is not helping you. If you believe in something with all your heart, why not give it a chance to come true. The world will be judging you no matter what, the good and the bad. So, why not give them something good to talk about. Choose yourself, just be you and do your own thing. And I bet the chaos of this world will vanish into thin air when you do so!

PS: I chose this picture because the sun always reminds me that it will rise and shine, no matter what!

Internal and external freedom

Few years ago, I saw the Broadway show, Aladdin, in New York City. It really is one of my favorite Broadway shows and it does leave you spellbound. There was a scene in this show, where Aladdin asks the Genie that what would he want if the Genie was granted a wish. To which, the Genie replies, “I want freedom”. “Not the riches of a palace or exotic food, just my freedom.” He could’ve asked for any lavish thing in the world or any crazy imaginable thing for that matter. But, all he wanted was his freedom! Freedom from being enclosed in a metal lamp and being answerable to no one.

This tells us how freedom varies from person to person. For some, it’s being able to live lavishly and not having to worry about spending a single penny, whereas for some, it’s about not depending on material things for their happiness. For some, these palace walls are everything that they could dream of, the riches of this world at your feet, not ever having to worry about what to eat and where to get the money for buying food and yet, for some, these same walls are merely pillars which they want to climb out of. Because being able to afford such luxuries also means guarding yourself from the evil world.

When they’re looking out of this window, maybe someone wishes to live in a place like this, amidst these high walls. And there are some, who peek through the window and adore the view, awestruck at how beautiful the city looks, wanting to explore its small lanes and tiny shops. And yet, these same high walls which guard them from intruders could also feel like a cage sometimes.

We all here, seek freedom from a place and some seek freedom from their thoughts. Our mind has this amazing capability to store even the minutest of details. Once we start overthinking, it boggles our minds and causes so much chaos that it feels like it is going to explode. We search and search, for an escape, running through the long passages of memories we shared and passing through the garden of secrets. Sometimes, all you have to do is climb out of that window and take a walk, let peace find you in the most unexpected places. Let the beauty of this world and its people make you find the magic you’re looking for.

Most importantly, believe in the magic that resides within you. Be your own Genie and fulfill your wish. ✨

Love in the time of Corona

We are close to completing a year since the COVID-19 pandemic started. How it has affected all our lives is yet to be fully measured. But I can’t seem to ignore the simple things that we usually forget to be grateful for. Most importantly, it helped us to recognize the value of love that already exists amongst us. Looking back, I couldn’t help but think about the people who reached out to me throughout the crazy phase and helped me stay sane.

There was a time when you couldn’t hug a friend but the 6 feet distance didn’t matter anyway. To see long forgotten acquaintances reach out to you to ensure you’re safe and healthy. The people who constantly checked up not only on your physical health but mental health as well. The long video calls that called for a happy hour or birthday celebrations and let’s not forget the Zoom weddings! For those staying away from family and friends, living a solitary life, how the anxious phone calls strangely seemed to calm down your nerves, being thankful to hear the voice of your loved ones. You didn’t feel the need to teleport through the laptop screen because the love that already exists was enough to endure through it all. It took us a pandemic to realize that the ones that care do find a way to show their love despite perilous circumstances.

Love could never be a weakness when all it has done is given us strength. To endure, through it all, together. These strange times reinstate that there exists a love that transcends space and time. There’s you and there are your people. The ones who cared and the ones who dared to love in the time of Corona. ❣️

P.S: I’m never gonna forget about the time when I was too scared to eat a slice of pizza!

What would you settle for?

I was watching The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix and I came across this dialogue where the protagonist’s mother says to her daughter -“It takes a strong woman to stay by herself in a world where people will settle for anything, just to say they have something”. I feel it holds true for men and women both. We tend to settle not just in terms of people, but things, places, goals and dreams as well. In most cases, it happens so because you go for the easy choice or what society deems ideal for you. We are just so keen on having something to call ours that we forget to question ourselves – Do I even want it? Can I do better? Do I want to do better?

This also has a lot to do with circumstances that force us into settling. But it also takes a lot of courage to fight for what you want despite the circumstances. In the end, it’s really about choosing the battles you’re willing to fight for and dropping your weapons and armor to the ground for some. Don’t ever believe anyone who tells you that you don’t deserve something. No one. Not even yourself! Just because you’ve set your standards high doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a shot at what’s best for you.

To not settle for less also means being able to realize and recognize your own value. To not be afraid of your own shadow. In life, there won’t always be another person making you realize your worth. But it will be the person you see when you stand in front of the mirror everyday. You need to decide what is best for you. And you don’t have to lowball yourself just to be with someone or for the sense of some kind of accomplishment. Think about how many times before you choose other people are you willing to choose yourself. Remember, the pursuit of happiness always begins with you.

New Year, Upgraded Me.

The start of a new year acts as a cue to hit the reset button in our lives. We see this as an opportunity to reassess our lives and find things we would want to get done in the upcoming year. However, rather than the cliched “New Year, New Me”, I’m more of a “New Year, Upgraded Me” kind of a person. I feel that you don’t need to uproot your whole life right away in the name of change. But what we can do, is choose to focus on things we’ve been wanting to achieve since so long and tackle it one day at a time.

Also, I believe it’s important for these “resolutions” we set to be realistic as well. I remember when I used to try to quantify these resolutions just to feel like I’m achieving something. And a week later into the new year, I used to forget about them because they felt far-fetched. However, I feel it’s more helpful if you choose a niche you really wanna improve at and give it your honest try. Change takes time. For example, instead of directly trying to cut out sugar from your diet, why not focus on being healthy first? Find a diet plan that’s going to help you stay fit and gradually decrease your sugar consumption .

This blog, too, was a part of my last year’s goals. And well, here I am! Finally after years of convincing myself that I need to start writing again rather than just talking about it, I finally did find the strength to do it. During previous years, I had set a goal of writing one blog post a day and I failed in doing so. So instead, now I chose to focus on getting into the habit of writing first. I can now choose the frequency of my posts because I can anticipate the amount of time and efforts it takes to finish up everything.

So, whatever you are working on or want to, keep going. You don’t have to take the giant leap of faith every time. Sometimes, even one baby step towards your goal is all you need to get going. It’s only the first month of this year. So, even if everything is not going according to your plans, you still have the rest of the year ahead of you. Don’t give up now thinking it’s already the end of January, rather, focus on utilizing the remainder of your time. Trust me, it’s never too late to start something. Just go for it!

Born from the fire!

She often liked to play with fire,
Always chasing after what her heart desired.
That day she stood in front of the blazing sun,
Trying to catch the morning light, to make a run.


Through the gloomy clouds the sun quietly whispered to her,
Fear not my darling, even though things seem a little blur;
These clouds of doubt and fear will drift away,
Only if you hold onto a little, just wait for the sun’s first ray.


For you are born from the fire that you often seek,
The light that radiates from you is just a tiny peek.
So just shine through the haze from wherever you are,
Just as I continue to radiate light and warmth, long and far.

Epilogue: Too often, we go chasing after things and people that we are attracted to, that we feel will add meaning to our lives. However, during this journey, we often forget to think about ourselves. If we begin to recognize our own power, the potential that lies within, we begin to discover ourselves. You don’t need to chase after all these external variables, when you realize that you are enough. That you, yourself, are all the light you will ever need!

PS: I woke up to this sunrise after only 2 hours of sleep in one of the most remote AirBnbs I’ve been to. Felt like the perfect place to be during this pandemic, a perfect countryside beauty. I could see the sun rising through my window and I HAD TO run outside to see it! 🤩

What a view!

I once saw a tv show where a guy visits an old mansion and gets a chance to meet the couple who live there. When he looks at the woman, he sees a beautiful young bride trapped in a big castle, married to a man twice her age. It breaks his heart to see this confined soul in this desolate place and he even offers to rescue her from the man. The girl only smiles at him thinking what a fool he must be. She tells the guy that she’s actually happy with the person she’s married to and that they both love each other. He cares for her selflessly and is even supporting her in continuing her education. In the end there’s a scene where the couple is shown dancing away in their vast empty palace, no one around, just the two of them, living a fairytale of their own.

Sometimes we are so obsessed about finding issues and problems in other people’s lives, we often tend to overlook the bubble they choose to live in. We are so eager to project our way of living life onto them, we simply disregard the other person’s choices and priorities. Everyone doesn’t want the same things in life. Wouldn’t it be kinda boring if that were the case? Some people are just genuinely happy with all the things they have and they’re wise enough to not care about what the outer world thinks about it. What may seem less to you, might be just enough for them. Only if we start being more mindful about other people’s choices!

People want different things in life and have different priorities. So what you may perceive as a bad situation, the other person might just be wanting that. We need to stop judging people for the choices they make and rather try to understand why they did so. And if you can’t understand it, the least we can do is try to respect their choices. We have all got this one life to live. Would you really throw it all away just for what others would think? Everyone deserves a life of their choice and there’s nothing wrong in choosing to live it your own crazy-but-fulfilling way.

My mantra has always been live and let live!

PS: The picture was taken at City Palace, Udaipur (City of Lakes), India in January, 2018.